You Have Been Bullied, Abused or Hurt: What to do.
Something bad happened. It may have happened recently or a long time ago. Either way, it
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was not good and dealing with the mix of feelings, events, people, and even legal issues can be and will be hard. I want to help simplify the matter to what you can do and what to expect, I cannot say everything that can happen, but guidelines for getting through all of this mess and hurt.
- Remember you are the SAME person you always were. You have not changed the core of who you are and thus tapping into what feels like you – your interests, hobbies, even favorite foods can be comforting and remind you of yourself when things feel so unstable.
- You will have MANY emotions, even at the same time. It is normal to have times you are quiet and have a blank mind that is so overwhelmed it seems frozen, and time that you are so full of ideas and anger, sadness, and energy that you feel you might burst. Remember that all these emotions are good and to allow yourself to feel them and not judge yourself. Using the energy to get things done or to talk or journal about your feelings is great. Journaling can be in handwriting, voice command, making a collage, drawing, painting, basically anything to get the feelings out. Making art can be abstract and not specific – it helps you process and get through the feelings even without being specific.
- It seems it will NEVER end. It is normal to feel that this will be a part of you, a label on you, and stuck to you for life – IT WILL NOT! You are in one moment of your life and you will move to another. Even in this moment, you have times that the issue is not part of what you are doing or thinking. It is good to remind yourself that you are sleeping, eating, going to school/work, and doing things that have nothing to do with the issue. These are all part of your life too.
When it comes to legal issues or other hard things you must manage with this, remember that you do not need to deal with them daily. Set aside a day and time to gather info, call lawyers, etc. to deal with the issue and give yourself time off for the rest of the week. Usually 1-2 times a week will do. You do not need this to encompass your whole life. You have MUCH more to your life than this.
If you imagine your whole life and see what it looks like when you are 80 – how much time and energy was taken on the issue? When will it no longer be a daily, weekly, even a thing you deal with? Looking at the light at the end of the tunnel is good – there is not just light, but a whole life full of years that can be past this issue.
- There is help. There are family, friends, religious leaders, teachers, counselors, and many others who want to be there for you. This can be just being a positive support, having good positive and fun times together, or talking about the issue or simply listening, or even being a voice for you and helping you arm –in arm to get through the hard parts.
Look for the help, acknowledge you are not alone, and use the help when you WANT. If you NEED help, then you ask, but you feel worse than if you asked when it was simply a want. This is not the time to hold it in or to be strong. By holding in feelings we can invite depression and we end up getting the feelings stuck in our minds and hearts where they can affect us for many, many years. Having emotions and getting help allows this to be something that happens and that you get through. Ignoring the issue makes it stick around and become a part of you.
Take care of yourself and allow others to care for you too.
Resources:
Dr. Chelsie Reed, PhD, LPC 480-855-4009 drchelsie.com
Counselor in Chandler, AZ that can assist those ages 4+ as individuals, couples, or family in with most life issues. Available in Chandler, online webcam counseling, and in group settings.
Mental Health Crisis line for Maricopa County 602-222-9444
24/7 call center and mobile counseling to help when you need to chat or need intervention. Everything from a friendly ear to in-person help for suicidal thoughts or need to find hospitalization. You can tell them a fake name even to feel more anonymous.
Teen Lifeline http://teenlifeline.org/ 480-440-3242
24/7 chat center for teens who need to talk about emotions or feel suicidal.
| 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-784-2433 National Suicide Hotline & Chat | 1-800-273-TALK 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline & Chat |
Other hotlines: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/arizona.html
Mental Health Resources: http://www.nami.org/
Find a Therapist/Counselor: PsychologyToday.com/Arizona